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Dear Chat Daddy,

I’m a 42-year-old single black female who met a guy about six months ago while at a baseball game.
We have been dating on and off over the last six months. Since we’ve been dating, he lost his job and had to move in with me because he had nowhere to go.

I recently found out that he has fathered five children by three different women. He’s a great guy to hang out with, but I’m not trying to commit to him because he is not doing anything towards improving his life.

How should I suggest to him that I want him to move on from our relationship? He’s even proposed marriage to me, but I don’t want him as my husband.
-Dude you are so not husband material

Dear Dude you are so not husband material,
Girl you are really tripping. Why would you let a complete stranger move into your home? I’m so glad that you finally woke up and opened your eyes because even I can see that there are a few obstacles that will keep this relationship from being equally yoked.

The one thing I can tell you for sure is your new guy has commitment issues and is looking for someone who will take care of his needs. If he has fathered five children already by three different women at this point in his life, I’m sure he’s in no hurry to commit to another long-term relationship.

He’s in dire need of understanding what true responsibility, respect and standing up to his commitment to himself and his children is all about before he can be a good man for you.
At this point you need to carefully pull back from the relationship while motivating him to improve himself by getting a job and a place to live. Here’s to you meeting someone who will offer you an equal level of moral integrity and a deeper understanding of love without rushing the process.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I am a 41-year-old female who has finally met the man of my dreams. He is 50 years old, never been married, does not have any children and owns his own business. He and I met at a wedding reception of a mutual friend. We have been dating for two years now.

Our relationship started out as just friends, but eventually it progressed to more. After about eight months of being together, we finally became intimate with each other. He recently proposed marriage to me, but I am concerned with the fact that he is as old as he is and he has never been married.

When I asked him “Why Me?” he responded that he felt comfortable with me and that I would make a perfect wife. Chat Daddy, do you feel that there could be something wrong with this picture? Please advise.
-At last

Dear At last,
Sister, stop being so skeptical about your man. No, I do not feel that there is something wrong with this picture. Men are very much like women when it comes to waiting on the right person to come along before jumping into a committed relationship.

With any man ready for a committed relationship, his actions will speak louder than his words. If you two have had a relationship that is being built on more than just intimacy, then you are surely on the right road to developing longevity in this relationship.

When a man is indeed comfortable with himself and his woman, then yes he is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Getting married is a big investment towards spending the rest of your lives together. So making the right choice is most important.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are the first woman who has made him feel comfortable and complete in his life journey? Here’s to you both having a renewed faith that love may take time, but is worth the wait. Now that you have found each other, use all of your higher powers of love and understanding while happily growing old together.
Enjoy.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I’m a 35-year-old happily married woman with a kid on the way. I have a great relationship with my family and a job that I look forward to going to everyday. I’m really close with my mom and I tell her just about everything.

Recently, we’ve had some disagreements as to how I plan to raise my child. Although I was raised under one specific religion, I am practicing another and I would like to raise my child under that religion. I would also like to expose my child to many different religions.

However, my mom is completely against it since she’s of another religion. She is a real aggressive woman and this topic is not up for discussion with her. How do I respectfully tell my mom to mind her business without getting into an argument?
-Trying to strengthen our family

Dear Trying to strengthen our family,
What a great letter, but your mother is not going to mind her own business because she loves you. This is a very touchy subject to deal with in today’s society. Two things I try my best to avoid are conversations about politics and religion because it always leads people into some type of disagreement.

You and your mother need to have a sincere talk about how you now want to live your life as an adult and how you best see what fits on raising your child. When talking to each other, you both must come from a mindset that is open and receptive to each other’s ideas and possibilities for the future of your child and her grandchild.

Please keep your mother’s feelings in mind because she is excited about being a grandparent. All parents are proud and extremely opinionated when it comes to their grandchildren because they only want the best for them. Exposing your child to many different cultures will only enhance their growth process.

Here’s to you having contentment on every level with your family and your new baby. Be encouraged!